A letter to myself...
To my subconscious, or to the perfect bestfriend...whatever... It will be as if I'm talking with someone who I truly trust and that's aware of everything that goes on in my life. In other words, my inner self, so to speak xP
Ok, it's kind of a diary.
Well, let's do this...
This is been awkward... Sometimes I think I need someone like me, an other me, who understand exactly what I'm feeling and what I'm going through...
It's so difficult organize all my ideas, my feeling...my time, my money...my life...
You know, yesterday I just freaked out... I HATE that people try to control me and, as the case is, sent me messages like they were saying "hey, I'm here and you're not giving me attention", or "answer me, I'm waiting for your words", or "I don't have life so I'm just waiting till you talk to me"...ohhh COME ON!!!
I hate this kind of persons that make themselves poor guys and that everything is against them... I than even know how to explain this correctly...but I think you got an idea...
Then, of course, my humour is not the best, and then I freak out and send them to the hell... COURSE! What you are expecting??? I'm just not the type of girl that like that type of obsessed and lifeless dudes...please!
Give me a break...
Well, changing the subject... I'm kind of fixed on a guy about who I don't know practically anything...it's stupid right?!
The first time I was with him, when I met him, was like, strange... Although I think that he wants to talk with me... But ok...
I thought that the next time he see me he wouldn't going to remember me and, even if he remembers he wouldn't give me attention... But was exactly the opposite!
He saw me first... he came to me... he touched me on the face. Then I looked at him... he smiled, I smiled back... then he sent me a kiss and blinked me the eye... SOOO SWEET!!!
I'm fascinated for this guy...and I don't know exactly why...
Since then I never saw him again... And I was so stupid!!! In that second time the place was just too crowed and we didn't talk...we only saw and greet each other... BIG mistake!
Since then I just can't stop to thinking about him and how fool I was...I could have done so many things to...talk with him... I was so stupid...
Now I have to wait till the next week to go back to university and try to find him...it will not be easy...
I'm so fucked up and I'm so angry with myself!
Last night I didn't sleep at all... To be truth I was going on circles on my sheets just thinking about him... My head was so full of thoughts, feelings, images, dreams... I think the only time I really slept was since 2:00pm till 4.30pm... I was exhausted!
Gosh, I'm getting crazy…
Besides that...
I want to have a good relationship with my mom and my little brother but it's so hard... I can't control my stupid humour! I know I let them down every single day and I know that they are unhappy when I'm here...I don't know what to do =S
I'm such a bad daughter...
Not talking about my dad...that I want to have a nice relationship with him too but it's not easy...being in this situation... I think he thinks that when he gets divorced from my mom he also divorced from the sons and it's NOT like this!!! He have rights but he also have responsabilities! He's free now to be with who he wants to be (besides the fact that I really don't like his girlfriend but okay...) but he have to remember that he have two sons and they (we) need him...
Now, about my academic life... It's been a great new experience! I'm enjoying so much that I think it's more like TOO much! I'm enjoying too much of this life...
To the next year I have to focus myself on studies and forget a little bit of this nightlife (mostly of the time is what that is xP).
About praxes, it's been good but right now I'm a little tired of it...it's too much time... Fortunately on May we will no longer be caloiros =D (Enterro da Gata!!! eheh)
Anyway I think I will miss it :') Too much great moments to remember... Of course there was bad things too but I'm not gonna give the importance that they don't deserve and I'm just focus on the good things.
Ok, it's kind of a diary.
Well, let's do this...
This is been awkward... Sometimes I think I need someone like me, an other me, who understand exactly what I'm feeling and what I'm going through...
It's so difficult organize all my ideas, my feeling...my time, my money...my life...
You know, yesterday I just freaked out... I HATE that people try to control me and, as the case is, sent me messages like they were saying "hey, I'm here and you're not giving me attention", or "answer me, I'm waiting for your words", or "I don't have life so I'm just waiting till you talk to me"...ohhh COME ON!!!
I hate this kind of persons that make themselves poor guys and that everything is against them... I than even know how to explain this correctly...but I think you got an idea...
Then, of course, my humour is not the best, and then I freak out and send them to the hell... COURSE! What you are expecting??? I'm just not the type of girl that like that type of obsessed and lifeless dudes...please!
Give me a break...
Well, changing the subject... I'm kind of fixed on a guy about who I don't know practically anything...it's stupid right?!
The first time I was with him, when I met him, was like, strange... Although I think that he wants to talk with me... But ok...
I thought that the next time he see me he wouldn't going to remember me and, even if he remembers he wouldn't give me attention... But was exactly the opposite!
He saw me first... he came to me... he touched me on the face. Then I looked at him... he smiled, I smiled back... then he sent me a kiss and blinked me the eye... SOOO SWEET!!!
I'm fascinated for this guy...and I don't know exactly why...
Since then I never saw him again... And I was so stupid!!! In that second time the place was just too crowed and we didn't talk...we only saw and greet each other... BIG mistake!
Since then I just can't stop to thinking about him and how fool I was...I could have done so many things to...talk with him... I was so stupid...
Now I have to wait till the next week to go back to university and try to find him...it will not be easy...
I'm so fucked up and I'm so angry with myself!
Last night I didn't sleep at all... To be truth I was going on circles on my sheets just thinking about him... My head was so full of thoughts, feelings, images, dreams... I think the only time I really slept was since 2:00pm till 4.30pm... I was exhausted!
Gosh, I'm getting crazy…
Besides that...
I want to have a good relationship with my mom and my little brother but it's so hard... I can't control my stupid humour! I know I let them down every single day and I know that they are unhappy when I'm here...I don't know what to do =S
I'm such a bad daughter...
Not talking about my dad...that I want to have a nice relationship with him too but it's not easy...being in this situation... I think he thinks that when he gets divorced from my mom he also divorced from the sons and it's NOT like this!!! He have rights but he also have responsabilities! He's free now to be with who he wants to be (besides the fact that I really don't like his girlfriend but okay...) but he have to remember that he have two sons and they (we) need him...
Now, about my academic life... It's been a great new experience! I'm enjoying so much that I think it's more like TOO much! I'm enjoying too much of this life...
To the next year I have to focus myself on studies and forget a little bit of this nightlife (mostly of the time is what that is xP).
About praxes, it's been good but right now I'm a little tired of it...it's too much time... Fortunately on May we will no longer be caloiros =D (Enterro da Gata!!! eheh)
Anyway I think I will miss it :') Too much great moments to remember... Of course there was bad things too but I'm not gonna give the importance that they don't deserve and I'm just focus on the good things.
.
And right now this is my life... Everybody have problems, everybody have something to worry about, to care about, something to remember... These are mine.
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